Mom Rage: I’m Feeling Overwhelmed and Losing it
“Mom Rage” is definitely a thing!
You’ve probably heard of “mom rage” as a sign of burnout, but it’s much more than just a simple reaction to stress. It’s a complex mix of emotions, responsibilities, and exhaustion that can hit all at once, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and defeated.
Everywhere you look, there are unfinished chores, dirty dishes, laundry piling up, toys scattered across the floor. No matter how hard you try to keep up, it feels like being overwhelmed has no end in sight.
You turn to your child for nap time, but instead of cooperating, they run away, and you find yourself chasing them through the house. When you finally catch up, they collapse on the bathroom floor, throwing a tantrum.
Ten minutes into this, the frustration builds, you try one more time to comfort them, but again, they push you away kicking and screaming. At that moment, your frustration boils over and in enters mom range: With a stern, angry tone you shout “get in your bed!”. The house falls silent.
The silence you so desperately wanted, but instead of feeling relieved, shame washes over you. You slide down the wall, defeated and exhausted, full of regret, and feeling like a failure. You’re feeling like you just can’t escape the weight of it all
when you reflect on what just happened
Mom rage can vary from person to person and can take you by surprise. You may wonder “have I turned into my own mother? I thought I’d never be like her!”.
You know deep down that it’s not just anger. It’s that feeling like you’re not in control that has sent you spiralling into a fit of frustration. Trying to hold it together without processing this in a healthy way can lead to these mom rage outbursts.
You know you’re doing your best, yet having mom rage moments can feel like not only resentment and anger, but powerlessness, and a sense of being trapped. You’re mentally and physically exhausted, and it feels like no one even notices. It’s at these times when mom rage can step in.
But there is one common factor among all mothers experiencing mom rage: Feeling overwhelmed balancing the responsibility of motherhood with your personal wellbeing.
Symptoms Of “Mom Rage”
Mom rage can show up a bit differently for everyone:
- Intense Irritability: Often feeling easily frustrated or annoyed over small, daily events. You may unexpectedly cry or feel constantly “on edge”. Read here about how to curb irritability.
- Overwhelmed with Anger: Experiencing a sudden burst of anger or rage that feels disproportionate to the situation at hand. This often accompanies feelings of guilt or shame. Self-criticism follows as you reflect on how you behaved. Check out this article on how to tame anger reactivity.
- Emotional Exhaustion: A constant state of feeling unable to cope with everyday tasks, often coupled with feelings of being drained or overwhelmed. This can also present as physical exhaustion as well.
- Disconnection with children: Feelings of burnout and frustration can lead to the manifestation of emotional separation between you and your children.
- Physical Symptoms: When the sensation of stress begins to rise, you may feel muscle tension, headaches, lack of sleep, or even a racing heartbeat.
Overcoming Mom Rage
I know it can feel like you’re trapped in a cycle of chaos, but there are some things that you can try immediately, in order to regain control over mom rage.
Stop and Reflect
- Ask yourself what typically triggers your mom rage
- What has happened prior to recent incidents of mom rage?
- When did this start happening and what change happened in my life? What situation that may have contributed to the feeling of anger or loss of control?
- A great journal prompt could be: “what message is my mom rage trying to tell me?”
Tip: Arrange to take 1 hour a week just for you, try journalling, or take a chance and practice asking someone for help
Take A Break
- Practice mindfulness techniques when you’re not overwhelmed, can help you connect with your body. It can help you be better able to identify emotional changes that precede mom rage moments.
- Learn to breath when you just start feeling overwhelmed. One hand on your heart, another on your belly, inhale through your nose (4 seconds) and then slowly release that air out through your mouth (8 seconds). This is such a simple thing, but can truly be a game changer.
Tip: Try out a mindfulness meditation this week. There are many free samples online!
Manage Your Stress Level
- Regular exercise and movement can help let your body know that you are okay.
- A balanced diet with regular meals helps manage your blood sugar and therefore your mood and emotions.
- Build a supportive network of loved ones, friends, family, or even healthcare professionals – this is essential for avoiding a sense of isolation that can lead to mom rage
Tip: Carve out some time each week for a phone call or a visit with people who support you and make you smile. Start shopping for foods that you enjoy and make you feel goor mom
You Don’t Have To Take This Journey Alone
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the constant demands of motherhood and struggling with moments of mom rage, you’re absolutely not alone. Know that your emotions are valid, and you don’t have to navigate them in isolation.
We see mom rage all the time as therapists and are equipped to help get to the root of it. A therapist can help you regain emotional balance, recover from mom rage with compassion (not guilt), and reconnect with who you really are.
Don’t wait. Book a free consultation and learn how you can bring the calm and ease back into your life.
