Couples therapy can be a lifeline when your world feels like it’s crumbling after infidelity. You found out, and your stomach dropped. Your head was spinning, and maybe even rage set in. The sting of utter betrayal has been overwhelming you, and your life is feeling like it’s beginning to crumble around you.
Maybe you started thinking right away about how your items would be separated when you leave them, or perhaps you just fought with them, letting them know exactly how much pain they have caused. Infidelity is a devastating experience.
You are here reading this because you probably haven’t made a decision about whether leaving your partner is the answer. Perhaps it seems completely overwhelming thinking about such a life change. The question you need to ask first is, are they remorseful, and do they desire to repair things? Or are they just sorry they got caught in their infidelity?
If you aren’t sure of the answer, it might be a good idea to sit down and gauge this together with a couples counsellor. If there is a genuine desire to heal the relationship on both sides, then there could very well be hope for your relationship. When this is the case, couples therapy can really work.
After finding out about the infidelity, it might take some time to have a conversation like this, where you can both agree that it’s worth repairing. But you don’t need to know how to take it past that. Simply knowing you both truly desire healing and connection, to rebuild trust and intimacy again one day, is enough to start couples therapy.
Infidelity is a common specialty for couples counsellors. Your counsellor will often start with a pre-assessment. This assessment will evaluate and diagnose the specific problem areas in the relationship and determine how aligned you two are in engaging in the therapy process.
Often your counsellor will meet individually with each of you to develop a fair and neutral perspective when eventually bringing you two together to do the work.
Depending on the approach used by your couples counsellor, you may find that there is a combination of psycho-education, in-session communication opportunities expertly facilitated by your counsellor, homework assignments, and a structured way of getting to your goals. It is designed to help you make progress.
Psycho-education is a crucial part of couples therapy. It involves understanding the underlying causes of infidelity, such as unmet emotional needs, lack of communication, past trauma, attachment styles, or personal insecurities (only to name just a few).
By getting to the root of it, couples therapy can bring clarity and insight around the causes of the infidelity, and support you in how to address them.
Effective communication is essential in rebuilding trust after infidelity. Therapy provides a safe space for you and your partner to express your feelings and concerns openly.
Through guided discussions, you can learn to communicate more effectively, listen actively, and understand each other’s perspectives. This process helps to rebuild trust and foster a deeper emotional connection.
Homework assignments are often part of the couples therapy process. These assignments are designed to help you practice new communication skills, rebuild trust, and strengthen your relationship outside of therapy sessions.
They might include exercises like scheduling regular check-ins, or practicing active listening techniques. By consistently working on these assignments, you can reinforce the progress made during couples therapy sessions.
Setting goals is a vital component of couples therapy. Your couples counsellor will help you and your partner establish clear, achievable goals for your relationship. These goals might include rebuilding trust, improving communication, and restoring intimacy. By having a structured path to follow in, you can track your progress and stay motivated throughout the healing process.
Infidelity can shatter a relationship, but couples therapy offers a pathway to healing and repairing. By addressing the underlying reasons of betrayal, improving communication, and setting clear goals, couples therapy can help you and your partner navigate the challenging journey of healing your relationship.
If you find yourself in the painful aftermath of infidelity, consider the potential of couples therapy to guide you towards healing and renewed connection.
FreeMind Therapy offers online couples therapy from specialists in this area, which provides support and tangible strategies to help your romantic relationship thrive. Book a FREE 20 min consultation with one of our experienced counsellors.
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